As human beings, we are biologically inclined to assess for danger and to seek safety, both physically and emotionally. Dr. Stephen Porges’ research and study around the Polyvagal Theory and the vagus nerve supports that people are seeking that felt safety. One way we can do that is by paying attention to the tone of voice we use with others and with ourselves. Amy suggests that we take a look and notice our tone and then try to soften it when we are interacting with others and in our own minds. She offers two tips to soften your tone:

1. Sit down when you are having a difficult conversation.

2. Breathe. Allow your exhale to be longer than your inhale to bring your heart rate down before diving into a conversation.

As social distancing mandates continued, Amy talks about her experience walking with a mask and sunglasses. She noticed that as she walked by people, they could not see her eyes or mouth, which prevented social connection. As she has discussed, Dr. Porges’ research shows that the vagus nerve directly connects with the facial nerves around the eyes allowing the eyes to show the true intention of the interaction. We use our eyes to signal and create felt safety for ourselves and for others. Amy’s advice, while treading these unknown waters of social distancing, is to continue to make eye contact with others, smile, and use a pleasant tone of voice to create felt safety between you and those around you.

The Polyvagal Theory talks all about the vagus nerve. This nerve leaves the brain stem and goes to the torso and also branches up into the head where it affects hearing, speaking, and eye expressions. As we learn to apply the Polyvagal Theory and take notice to our nervous system reactions in our daily lives, Amy focuses on the vagus nerve and social connection. Amy provides two social connection tips:

1. Make time for face-to-face connection with someone every single day. Make sure you are looking the other person in the eye and try to eliminate any other distractions so you can be present and be thankful for the interaction.

2. PLAY! Don’t forget to make time for play. Do something that you love and that brings you joy.

Mental health counselor and therapist, Amy Stenger-Sullivan speaks more on the Polyvagal Theory and how we can use the teachings within this theory to help us through uncertain times. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory dives into the science behind our human instinct of survival, both physically and emotionally. Amy discusses Dr. Porges’ four survival responses as flock, flee, fight, and freeze. As one of ten children, Amy had to discover ways to connect with her older siblings, which led her to discover her humor. She found that she could use humor to connect (and emotionally survive) with her older siblings and soon started using humor as her survival mechanism. When thinking about your own wellness, Amy challenges you to ask yourself, “What are my survival mechanisms? How do I use them? Is it helpful or hurtful to me?”

Our connection and attachment to others is key to our survival, which proved difficult as the pandemic roared on. Dr. Stephen Porges, founder of the Polyvagal Theory, states that our main function as human beings is to survive (both physically and emotionally) and our survival is dependent on our connection to others. Amy Stenger-Sullivan has been studying the Polyvagal Theory for nearly ten years and now applies it in her therapy sessions when walking alongside her clients dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, and grief. Amy first started her study of the Polyvagal Theory as an infant massage therapist. She talks through the effects of the pandemic on our physical, emotional, financial and mental health and how maintaining connection with those around us, in a safe way, will be crucial in our ability to thrive.

As a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Amy Stenger-Sullivan recognizes the dangers of the pandemic have brought on new and real feelings of vulnerability and insecurity for many of people. Through her in-depth study of the Polyvagal Theory, Amy talks about the function of the vagus nerve and how it directly relates to feelings of being unsafe leading to anxiety, depression, etc. She provides practical ways to stimulate your vagus nerve to lower your heart rate and your anxiety in hopes of reaching the feeling of felt safety.